


If You Love Him

by kwonlegs



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Soonhoon - Freeform, a little bit of jeongcheol, bestfriends, jeongcheol - Freeform, typical plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-20 05:48:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8238184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwonlegs/pseuds/kwonlegs
Summary: If you love him, don't let him go.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Under the category of "a fanfic nobody asked for". 
> 
> Quote from Usami Akihiko [Junjou Romantica Season 1] 
> 
> Supposed to be my first published fic here on ao3 but well.. anyway, please be gentle HAHAHA.
> 
> If this sucks it's probably because I thought about it while washing the dishes. Haha. Kidding aside, I hope you guys enjoy some soonhoon fluff. And a little bit of swearing.

_To be able to stay beside a beloved one is the special privilege of a friend_

 

That was according to one of the characters of the boys love anime Soonyoung ‘accidentally’ watched one sad and lonely evening. And in this particular situation, where he and Jihoon decided to sit and talk under the shed of that big tree in their school (their favorite spot), the sky blue and the sun bright, the soccer team on the soccer field practicing, and Jihoon waving to one of the members with a smile on his face, Soonyoung remembered the quote.

 

Those words stabbed his heart like tiny little knives, slowly digging through his flesh. It was indeed a special privilege to be friends with the one you love, as you can be by their side all the time and hear them when nobody else would, but who said it was easy?

 

_

 

Soonyoung had been friends with Jihoon ever since he could remember. They were neighbors and they played a lot when they were kids. They did everything together back then.

 

They were Soonyoung and Jihoon, a hybrid, friends who were attached to the hip and Soonyoung thought it was all right; he thought he was all right until he started noticing little things about Jihoon. Little things that made his heart beat a mile a minute, little things that made him realize that he wasn't looking at Lee Jihoon as 'just a friend' anymore, the little things that made him come to terms with the fact that he was in love with his friend.

 

It wasn't easy accepting it at first, but it wasn't hard to love Jihoon either and so he did; he continued to love him as a friend and as something else. He promised himself he would tell Jihoon as soon as he had gathered all his courage.

 

And soon he did.

 

He stood under the shed of the same tree they were at now, one afternoon, and texted Jihoon to meet him there because he had something to tell him, but then some things don't really go the way you want them to, right?

 

Jihoon came, but not alone. He walked with someone else and he was smiling; a smile that Soonyoung had never seen on his face before. He looked happy, so happy that Soonyoung's heart ached and he felt mad – mad at himself, at the man walking with Jihoon.

 

How dare he put that smile on Jihoon's face? Soonyoung had been around him for a very long time but he's never managed to make Jihoon smile that way. How could he?

 

Soonyoung wanted to run away as he felt tears well up in his eyes. There was no way he would let Jihoon see him this way. He would surely ask what was going on and Soonyoung wouldn't be able to lie. So he ran away, as fast as he could, not looking back.

 

_

 

"Soonyoung," Jihoon called and Soonyoung woke from his stupor. He glanced at his friend who had a worried look on his face.

 

"Y-Yeah?" Soonyoung replied. He was quite sure he and Jihoon were talking about something he just doesn't remember what.

 

"Were you listening to me?" Jihoon asked sounding a little bit irritated but manage to keep his facial expression neutral.

 

Soonyoung wanted to shake his head and let Jihoon repeat the whole conversation but he knew it was a bad idea and Jihoon's going to kill him so he nodded and smiled instead, "Yeah, of course!"

 

Jihoon rolled his eyes at Soonyoung and sighed, "You're such a bad liar."

 

Well, shit. "Am I?"

 

Jihoon ignored him and sighed again. There was a long stretch of silence before his friend started speaking again.

 

“So, do I tell him?”

 

Oh, yeah. Now Soonyoung remembered what they were talking about, what made him remember the quote.

 

He stared at the soccer field and at one particular member of the soccer team, the man who walked with Jihoon on the day he was going to tell him about his feelings. Choi Seungcheol, the lucky bastard.

 

Jihoon was contemplating whether to tell Seungcheol about his feelings and decided to go to Soonyoung for help and advice.

 

Soonyoung sucked in a breath. That character on the boys love anime he watched sure was a  fucking masochist. Did he not realize how painful it was to stay friends with the one you love and watch them love another person? Well, guess he’s a masochist, too, as he was doing the same thing and to top it all off, he was giving him advice, too.

 

“Sure, go on, tell him,” was Soonyoung’s quick reply.

 

“Are you sure?” Jihoon followed his line of vision and his brows furrowed, “What are you looking at?”

 

Soonyoung glanced away when he felt that Jihoon was going to catch him giving death glares at the lucky bastard he was going to confess to.

 

“Nothing,” Soonyoung stood from where he sat and angled his butt at Jihoon’s face, “please get the leaves off my butt,”

 

And Jihoon did but not before he rolled his eyes at him.

 

Soonyoung wanted to run away again, just get the fuck away from Jihoon before he cried and begged Jihoon to just love him instead.

 

Jihoon looked up at him and bit his lower lip in doubt, “Are you sure I should tell him? I don’t think he likes me back though,”

 

 _Are you fucking kidding me?_ Soonyoung wanted to blurt out but prevented himself from doing so. He looked at Jihoon and smiled at his friend. “He’s a blind bastard if he doesn’t see the beauty that is Lee Jihoon – “Soonyoung caught himself and his eyes widened. That wasn’t supposed to come out of his mouth.

 

Jihoon chuckled, “The fuck, Soonyoung-ah? That’s so cheesy and so not you.”

 

“Just saying the truth,” Soonyoung shrugged and ignored his own words as Jihoon did. There was no way his friend was going to take it as a confession and Soonyoung suddenly laying his heart out for Jihoon because he was, clearly, in love with someone else.

 

“Anyway, just tell him,” Soonyoung urged. “If you love him, don’t let him go and tell him while you still have the chance, tell him before somebody else takes him away from you, that way you won’t regret it…” _the same way I did._

 

Jihoon smiled and he now stood beside Soonyoung, their arms touching. Soonyoung could feel his friend’s warmth but he knew it was going to be temporary.

 

Soon, he’s going to lose Jihoon and he won’t be by his side anymore like this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

That night, Soonyoung cried himself to sleep and decided to avoid Jihoon, just until the pain goes away.

 

+

 

“Did you tell him?” Seungcheol asked through a mouthful of rice and pointed his spoon at Jihoon, “If you didn’t you’re a fucking chicken,”

 

Jihoon cowered and bowed his head in embarrassment because there were a lot of people in the cafeteria and Choi Seungcheol was too loud for his liking. The people who passed by their table looked at the both of them and gave them weird looks.

 

“Shut the fuck up!” Jihoon glared and Seungcheol only laughed at him.

 

“So, what happened? Did you fess up?” Seungcheol asked.

 

Jihoon shook his head, “I didn’t but how could I when he’s not even answering my texts! He hasn’t talked to me for more than a week and whenever we see each other he just tells me he’s busy and has a lot of things to fucking do and fuck I don’t know what to do! I’m going crazy!”

 

Jihoon was breathless and had turned red from the talking he just did. Seungcheol put his spoon down and clasped his hands, looking seriously at Jihoon.

 

“You bastard, who wouldn’t avoid you? I mean, you made the whole thing a misunderstanding! He probably thought I was the one you’re going to confess to!”

 

“Why would he think that? We’re just friends.”

 

“Jealousy knows no friends, Jihoon-ah. I’ve seen the way Soonyoung looks at me and I swear to God, if looks could freaking kill, youd have no Seungcheol in your life right now,” Seungcheol shrugged nonchalantly and winked before muttering a: “If you just pushed him against the wall and kissed him until he couldn’t remember his name then you would’ve avoided this situation…”

 

“That –“ Jihoon shook his head, “I am not using the strategy you used for Jeonghan-hyung!”

 

Seungcheol rolled his eyes, “Well, my point is, you should have just told him! He said so himself! Do it before you regret it, right?”

 

“Well, yes but I don’t think he likes me back,” Jihoon bit his lower lip again.

 

“Oh, the fear of rejection, all right, I get that shit as I had the same feeling back then but Jihoon please, we’re not in high school anymore. It’s not just a crush you can shrug off and ignore until it goes away. You love Soonyoung, right?”

 

Jihoon nodded. He did love Soonyoung. He always did from the very first time he smiled at him and became his friend. He knew he will love Soonyoung more than life itself and he did. Oh, God, he did.

 

He had kept his feelings for the longest time but he knew that one day he wouldn’t be able to hide it anymore. He loves Soonyoung very much and the only thing that was stopping him from telling him about it was the fear of losing the friendship he had with him. He treasured Soonyoung so much that it really didn’t matter if it became unrequited, just as long as they stayed as friends, as they were.

 

But Jihoon realized that it wasn’t that easy. Being by his side and watching him love another was not easy nor was it a pleasant thought. He wanted to be the one by Soonyoung’s side, the one he loved. And even if he was unsure, he had come to a decision: to tell Soonyoung, no matter what the outcome was.

 

Jihoon fished his phone inside his pocket and quickly dialed Soonyoung’s number. It rang and rang until it went to voice mail. Seungcheol eyed him worriedly.

 

“Not answering again?” Seungcheol asked.

 

Jihoon nodded.

 

Seungcheol rolled his eyes at him and sighed, “It’s not like you don’t know each other’s schedules.”

 

“You don’t know Soonyoung,” Jihoon said, “If he’s determined to do something – and in this case, to avoid me – then I’m going to have a hard time finding him.”

 

“The tree,” Seungcheol deadpanned.

 

Jihoon’s eyebrows furrowed, “Tree? What the fuck are you – oh!”

 

Seungcheol could hear the sound of the light bulb and Jihoon immediately stood up from his seat.

 

“You’re a genius!” Jihoon remarked. Empty words but still it was a compliment.

 

“Go get your man,” Seungcheol pumped his fist up in the air. His voice echoed inside the cafeteria and everyone looked at them again. But Jihoon didn’t have the time to glare at his friend because as he said, he was going to get his man and he was going to do it now.

 

Jihoon waved him goodbye and immediately ran to his and Soonyoung’s favorite place.

 

+

 

Soonyoung had skipped his class because it was boring and made his mind drift to unpleasant thoughts like Jihoon and Seungcheol cuddling somewhere right fucking now.

 

The pain had not subsided and it looked like it was going to take Soonyoung a year or more to convince himself to be happy for Jihoon and get over him.

 

It sucked since it involved avoiding his friend and he didn’t like avoiding his friend. He missed him; he missed the times they lied on the roof of Soonyoung’s house, gazing at the stars and chatting about their dreams until the sun came up. He missed when they talked about how Jihoon was going to be a composer and how he was going to be a choreographer and choreograph all the dances to Jihoon’s song. How they talked about nothing at all but still end up putting the phone down at three in the morning.

 

It sucked and Soonyoung had a heavy heart and he felt the tears well up in his eyes again. He missed Jihoon so much.

 

He closed the barely read book on his lap and wiped his tears. This was bad, he shouldn’t be left alone. He should be keeping himself busy because when he didn’t and if he didn’t, this was the outcome. He stood up and was about to leave when he saw a familiar figure running toward him.

 

“Soonyoung-ah!”

 

He couldn’t mistake that voice for anybody.

 

“Soonyoung-ah! Wait, don’t go!” Jihoon screamed and waved his hands. Soonyoung froze to where he stood. He wanted to run (again) but he couldn’t, he wanted to see Jihoon. He wanted to hug him, break down and just tell him to break up with Seungcheol.

 

Soonyoung didn’t run away but he waited until Jihoon was already in front of him. He felt tears trickle down his face and he couldn’t stop it, he couldn’t stop crying and he knew Jihoon would ask and he wouldn’t be able to lie to him but fuck it. He’ll tell him!

 

“Soonyoung, what happened?” Jihoon looked shocked and worried at the same time. He took a step to get closer to Soonyoung and he let him. Soonyoung let him.

 

“I like you,” Soonyoung, despite the lump in his throat, spoke firmly and met Jihoon’s gaze.

 

His friend was surprised; he opened and closed his mouth as if to say something but he didn’t, was unable to.

 

“You don’t have to say anything,” Soonyoung continued, “I know you will never like me that way but I just – I just wanted to tell you even if it’s already too late. I like you, Jihoonie and I don’t mean like in a platonic way, I mean it in an entirely different way and I know it’s weird because we’re friends and I’m not supposed to like you that way but I can’t help it. I want to say it’s your fault for being Lee Jihoon but it’s also my fault because – “ Soonyoung’s voice faltered and he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, feeling embarrassed and pained at the same, “It’s also my fault because I started liking you, I fell for you and I shouldn’t have. I didn’t want to but I’m stupid and I should have tried to control my feelings for you –“

 

Jihoon shushed him and gathered Soonyoung in his arms. Soonyoung buried his face on Jihoon’s neck and sobbed.

 

“It’s all right, love, it’s all right,” Jihoon rubbed his back soothingly with one hand while the other held Soonyoung tightly around his waist.

 

“I’m sorry,” Soonyoung said, voice muffled and shaky. “I’m sorry, Jihoon.”

 

Jihoon smiled against Soonyoung’s chest, “You don’t have to be sorry, Soonyoung. It’s not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault. You can’t order your heart to stop loving someone just because they’re your friend.”

 

Soonyoung nodded and sobbed. “You’re right, that’s so relatable but I still feel pathetic.”

 

“Stop feeling pathetic, you jerk,” Jihoon joked to lighten up the situation but Soonyoung’s sobs didn’t stop.

 

A few moments later, Soonyoung had already calmed down. Jihoon didn’t know how long they stood there hugging each other, but he really didn’t give a fuck. Also, nobody was around as everyone was probably in class by now. He and Soonyoung could have this place to themselves.

 

Soonyoung sniffled and tried to extract himself from Jihoon’s hold but to his surprise, his friend didn’t let him go.

 

“Jihoon-ah, I’m fine now. A little bit embarrassed but I’m fine. You can let me go now,” Soonyoung stated.

 

Jihoon didn’t budge. Instead, “If you love him, don’t let him go, right? You said so yourself,”

 

“What?”

 

Jihoon kept his word and didn’t let Soonyoung go, but he moved just enough to look Soonyoung in the eyes, “I like you, Soonyoung.”

 

“What?” Soonyoung stood there, dumbfounded.

 

“I like you,” Jihoon, when in doubt, would bite his lower lip and Soonyoung shouldn’t find it endearing but he did.

 

“Are you just saying that because I told you I liked you? You’re a jerk!” Soonyoung blurted out and pushed Jihoon away but the latter didn’t budge. Jihoon may be small in height but his strength was no joke.

 

“I didn’t!” Jihoon struggled to keep Soonyoung wrapped in his arms, “That’s what I’m here for! To tell you that I’ve liked you ever since and – shit, can you stop moving around!”

 

“You don’t get to toy with my feelings!” Soonyoung tried to get himself away from Jihoon but his friend never let him. They kept on pushing and pulling until they both got tired and oh, if anyone saw them…

 

“I am not and never will toy with your feelings, Kwon Soonyoung. We’ve been friends ever since and you should know that,” Jihoon said firmly and to emphasize his sincerity, he looked Soonyoung in the eyes again. “I like you and I’ve liked you ever since. I was going to tell you that I like you but you avoided me,”

 

“But what about Seungcheol? Are you two-timing us?”

 

Jihoon rolled his eyes, “Two-timing, my ass! I can’t even skip class without feeling like a criminal and you really think I could two-time lightheartedly?”

 

Soonyoung still looked puzzled, obviously missing the whole point of Jihoon’s sentence and so Jihoon had to say it again, but in a simpler manner, “Seungcheol is my friend, we have no romantic relationship whatsoever. He’s a friend and helps me with a lot of shit in my class that’s why we got close but the only relationship we have is friendship.”

 

“But I thought –”

 

“You obviously just assumed things.”  

 

“Oh, my God,” Soonyoung’s eyes widened as realization hit him.

 

Jihoon nodded and repeated Soonyoung’s words dully, “Oh, my God.”

 

“You’re joking, right?”

 

“Who’s laughing?”

 

Soonyoung narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Jihoon, “This isn’t a bet you had with your music friends, right?”

 

Jihoon sighed in frustration. He didn’t think Soonyoung was this insecure and unsure of himself and he didn’t think it would take a lot of time to convince the idiot that he was, indeed, the person Lee Jihoon liked – scratch that – loved.

 

Since words were a bit futile at convincing Soonyoung as of the moment, Jihoon decided that it was time for some action. After all, actions spoke louder than words. And so, Lee Jihoon craned his neck upwards and cradled the back of Soonyoung’s head; he gently pushed the latter’s head down so his and Soonyoung’s lips could finally meet.

 

He didn’t mean to, he swore, but Soonyoung had inadvertently closed his eyes, relishing the feel and taste of Jihoon’s lips against his. Oh, my God. It was the most perfect thing on earth and good God, he hoped he doesn’t break down in front of Jihoon once this was over.

 

When they parted, Jihoon’s eyes fluttered open and the first thing that met him was the shocked expression on Soonyoung’s face.

 

“Oh, my God,” the older muttered against his hand that was now covering his mouth.

 

Jihoon felt a bit hurt, “Y-You don’t like it?”

 

Soonyoung bit his lower lip, “I think I liked it so much I want to do it again,”

 

Jihoon breathed a sigh of relief and his face broke into a smile. A smile that Soonyoung had never seen before; no, it wasn’t anything like the smile he saw when Jihoon was with Seungcheol. It was entirely different, indescribable – and Soonyoung’s eyes stung again, tears threatening to fall.

 

“Are you crying again?” Jihoon asked fondly and swiped Soonyoung’s cheek with his thumb.

 

Soonyoung scrunched his nose, “What’s it to you?”

 

“Aww,” Jihoon cupped Soonyoung’s face with both of his hands and pecked Soonyoung’s lips again and again and again and again. This was too much public display of affection, but who cares? Jihoon obviously didn’t.

 

Soonyoung started crying again and punched Jihoon’s chest, “You little shit! I thought you loved Seungcheol and there I was on my bed crying my heart out, wondering why I held on to something that was never mine! I hate you! You’re a little shit. I hope you choke in your sleep!”

 

“And here I thought I was the evil one between the two of us,” Jihoon chuckled and kissed Soonyoung again.

 

They didn’t know how their relationship would go or what would come after the sudden confession but no matter what, they both knew they’d be ready to face it just as long as they were by each other’s side.  

 

+

 

“Finally!” Seungcheol pumped his fist in the air, the two emotionally constipated lovebirds (emotionally constipated no more!) sat in front of him and Jeonghan (who was also one of Jihoon’s ‘music’ friends) with huge smiles on their faces.

 

“Congratulations,” Jeonghan said smiling as he tucked his long hair behind his ear, “It’s nice to see the both of you so happy. Seriously, when Cheol told me about how the two of you were dancing around each other, I really wanted to interfere and knock some sense into your brains.”

 

Jihoon smiled, “Thanks, your boyfriend did the job for you,”

 

Jeonghan smiled fondly at Seungcheol who was busy munching on the side dishes of their lunch, “I knew he would.”

 

+

 

“Hyung,” Soonyoung called Seungcheol, when the two of them were left alone by Jihoon and Jeonghan to buy some drinks.

 

Seungcheol looked up. Honestly, he didn’t expect Soonyoung to talk to him. “Yes?”

 

“I just wanted to say sorry…” Soonyoung looked embarrassed and guilty at the same time but Seungcheol didn’t know why he should be.

 

“Uhm, did you and Jeonghan have a relationship before? Because it’s all right, past is past – “

 

Soonyoung shook his head frantically, “No, hyung! I just met Jeonghan-hyung now. We didn’t – no… I was sorry for being jealous for no reason. I honestly hated you back then – not hated to the point where I wanted to murder you, no…”

 

“Thanks for that lovely explanation,”

 

“Seriously, I am so sorry.”

 

Seungcheol smiled and shrugged, “It’s fine. I guess we all get jealous when the person we love is with somebody else. Thanks for not murdering me mentally, though.”

 

Soonyoung nodded and he didn’t know what to say next.

 

“But I also hated the way you gave me death glares while I was practicing soccer, you know. That was scary as fuck, I didn’t know if I could live another day. I almost begged Jihoon to walk me home in case you were planning to beat me up,” Seungcheol continued and they both laughed at the absurdity of it all.


	2. Extra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reason why Soonyoung went apeshit jealous of Seungcheol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to.

The best thing about finishing homework was Soonyoung gets to lie down with Jihoon on his bed and they get to cuddle each other until they both felt hot and sweaty from each other’s warmth – and by hot and sweaty, Soonyoung meant it in a literal sense. 

 

He hugged Jihoon with all his might and the younger squirmed, groaning and gently punching Soonyoung’s gut so he would let him breathe. Soonyoung chuckled and kissed the top of Jihoon’s head.

 

They cuddled until a question popped in Soonyoung’s mind.

 

“Did you, by any chance, have a crush on Seungcheol-hyung?”

 

The question caught Jihoon off guard and he quickly looked up at Soonyoung with furrowed eyebrows.

 

“What makes you think I had a crush on Choi Seungcheol?”

 

Soonyoung shrugged, “Well, it’s just – I remembered that time when I was about to confess but you were with Seungcheol-hyung and your smile was annoying. It looked like you love him so much. It looked like you had a huge crush on him and I hate it – not Seungcheol-hyung, just the memory.”

 

Jihoon snorted and the snort turned into a laugh and the next thing Soonyoung knew Jihoon had turned to the other side, facing away from Soonyoung, wheezing.

 

“Hey, are you okay?” Soonyoung propped himself up. He was worried he might have upset Jihoon for suddenly bringing up Seungcheol but when Soonyoung peeked at Jihoon’s face, he saw how red it was from laughing too hard. He smacked Jihoon’s arm, strong enough to make the other utter an ‘Ow!’ while laughing.

 

“Don’t fucking toy with me Lee Jihoon. I’ll take your guitar away from you,”

 

Jihoon finally turned to Soonyoung, his eyes watery. “Yeah, like that’s the most important thing in my life right now. You are such an assuming ass, do you know that?”

 

“You can’t blame me! You were with him twenty-fucking-four-seven and it’s not going to be a surprise if if you fell for him.”

 

Jihoon sniffled and smacked Soonyoung’s face, gently pushing. “Ugh. Let me explain what happened.”

 

“I’m all ears, baby.”

 

“One more of that endearment and I’m seriously going to hit you with my guitar,”

 

“You said it yourself. It is an endearment and I love calling you baby,”

 

“I’m nobody’s baby,”

 

“Not even mine?”

 

“Are you going to listen to me or not?”

 

“Yes, love,” Soonyoung smiled; he loved teasing Jihoon until his face blushed so hard.

 

“Ass,” Jihoon pecked the corner of his lips, his smile a fond one. “So when we were on our way there he started asking me about you.”

 

“What? He’s got a crush on me?”

 

Jihoon shook his head, “You wish.”

 

“Ah, all right.”

 

“And so, I told him about us and I ended up telling him about my feelings for you – “

 

“Ah, so he knew before I did,” Soonyoung said, his tone accusing.

 

Jihoon gaped, “You are one to talk! You’ve kept your feelings, too, remember?”

 

“Yeah, but Seungcheol-hyung knew before me,” Soonyoung pouted.

 

“Whatever,” Jihoon rolled his eyes. “As I said, I ended up telling him about my feelings for you and he started teasing me. He said that you’re probably going to confess to me when we get there and yeah, that was the reason behind it all, the reason why you went ape shit jealous of Seungcheol-hyung.”

 

Soonyoung stared at Jihoon. “What? You were smiling because he was teasing you about me?”

 

“Didn’t I just say that?”

 

“Oh, my God,”

 

Jihoon narrowed his eyes at Soonyoung, “Is OMG going to be our catch phrase like that one in The Fault in Our Stars?”

 

“I don’t understand what you’re saying right now. I’m seriously – seriously – having a mental break down. So I was jealous of myself?”

 

Jihoon smiled, “Kind of.”

 

“Oh, my God,” Soonyoung gaped and he didn’t know what to say anymore so he embraced Jihoon, as tight as he could and whispered his heartfelt I love you’s.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you had fun. Hearteu~ hearteu~


End file.
